


In the dark where there's no one listening, in the times where we both get carried away

by blue_eyed



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, M/M, Nightmares, Recovery, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-24
Updated: 2016-07-24
Packaged: 2018-07-18 21:11:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7330813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blue_eyed/pseuds/blue_eyed
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Finn wakes up in the resistance base, and starts the road to recovery</p>
            </blockquote>





	In the dark where there's no one listening, in the times where we both get carried away

**Author's Note:**

  * For [jiokra](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jiokra/gifts).



> I hope you like this jiokra! I got some hurt/comfort, cuddling, and PTSD, though I think its more anxiety than PTSD?

Finn jumped as a hand clapped down on his shoulder. He was in the mess of the resistance base, and he was aware not everyone on the base was comfortable with his presence. 

“Sorry, didn’t mean to make you jump,” Poe said, sitting opposite him. Finn grunted something and took another gulp of caf. “You okay?”

“Didn’t sleep well last night,” Finn said. “I’m not used to having my own room - it’s too quiet.” He didn’t mention the nightmares; Kylo Ren looming over him, faceless, spitting out words like ‘traitor’ and ‘re-conditioning’. Finn took another sip of caf, focusing back on Poe.

Poe nodded. “Yeah, I can imagine that being weird.” He took a bite of his breakfast. “Listen, my door is always open if you need anything, even if it’s just an ear. Hell, I can even send you BB8 for the night if you get really desperate.”

“Thanks, Poe.”

“Anytime, buddy. Hey, what’s on your agenda today?”

“Got my first appointment with the physiotherapist.”

“Dr Vlenims?” Poe asked. Finn nodded. “He’s a good doctor, he’s helped me through a few injuries myself. You’ll sleep after a session with him,” Poe said, smiling wryly. 

“I hope so,” Finn replied.

“So, you free for lunch? Say about 13:00?”

Finn nodded as he swallowed the last bite of food. “Sounds good.”

* * *

“Okay, so a warm up first.”

As he followed Dr Vlenim’s instructions, Finn realised how unfamiliar it felt. 

It wasn’t just the unfamiliarity of the exercises he was doing - the Order focused on strength more than anything, where as Dr Vlenims seemed more focused on stamina - it was his body. It had grown unused to being used like this during his weeks of bedrest and recovery. His muscles pulled and stretched uncomfortably as he pushed himself. 

“Good, that’s good, just two more.” Finn could hear him clearly over his own panting, his voice was strong but encouraging. Finn did the last rep, and bent over, hands on his knees, panting.

“Good, that was good, Finn, well done.” Dr Vlenims handed him a bottle of water. “How do you feel?”

“Tired,” Finn said, between gulps of water. “Really unfit.”

“It’ll come back quickly, your body has got used to you not moving.” Dr. Vlenims made some notes on his tablet. 

Finn didn’t reply, just concentrated on getting his breathing back to normal. 

Dr. Vlenims put him through his paces. He couldn’t finish his last pull up, arms giving up and dropping him to the floor. He bent over again, trying to fill his lungs. He was aware he was shaking and his stomach twisted with hot nausea.

“We’ll leave it there; do some cool down stretches. I imagine you’ll feel it in the morning.”

Finn dragged his body through the stretches, feel worse and worse as he did so. The exercises that he’d done were particularly hard, especially compared to stormtrooper training. And yet he couldn’t even finish them now.

Dr Vlenims told Finn to come back to the gym in a couple of days, but to go to him sooner if Finn was in too much pain. Finn nodded, jaw clenched. He needed to get out of here, to his room, somewhere.

He walked out of the gym as quickly as possible. People passed him in the corridors but he barely paid attention. He opened his door and slumped down on the floor of his small bathroom. He placed his head against the cool tile. 

His door knocked, and Finn groaned.

“Finn?” It was Poe.

“It’s open,” he called, struggling to a sitting position.

“Hey -” Poe stopped when he saw Finn. “Are you okay?”

Finn shrugged, “Just come back from Dr Vlenims. I - it was hard.”

“Ah,” Poe said, nodding. “He does like to really test you. Here, you look like you need it.” He threw a water bottle at Finn. Finn took a tiny sip, hoping his nausea would abate. 

“No, this is really bad. I’m - I’m weak.” Finn took another sip, spilling a little down his chin as his hands shook.

“Hey, hey, okay. Come on, let’s get you sitting somewhere more comfortable.”

Poe helped him get up, and kept his arm around Finn as they walked to the bed. Finn was stuck between wanting to lean into Poe and being angry that Poe felt like Finn needed help, needed support.

Phasma’s voice rang in his head: “Weakness will not be tolerated. If you can’t keep up, you won’t survive.”

“You with me?” Poe asked as they sat down. “Need me to get Dr Vlenims?”

Finn shook his head. 

“You want to tell me what’s going on? You’re worrying me,” Poe said.

“I told you, I’m weak, I can’t even finish a simple training exercise. I mean, what good am I if I can’t run? If I can’t fight or keep up?” Finn stopped when he realised he was shouting, and still shaking.

“Hey, hey, I don’t know what’s going on here, but no one expects you to fight or keep up right now. We just expect you to get better.”

Finn shook his head. He took another sip of water, for something to do.

“Why are you here, anyway?” Finn asked, trying to keep his voice from shaking.

“Its 13:15,” Poe said. “Not like you to be late.”

“Sorry,” Finn said, feeling guilty. “Session took longer than we expected.” 

“Don’t worry about it,” Poe said. Finn realised Poe’s arm was still around his back. He leaned into Poe, just a little bit. 

“I’m guessing this is something to do with Stormtrooper training.”

“If you can’t keep up, you will not survive,” Finn mumbled. 

“That’s the motto?” Poe asked. 

Finn nodded. “We were trained to leave people behind. If we weren’t useful, then...we weren’t needed.”

Poe was silent for a moment, and Finn could only hear their breathing. 

“You know that’s not how it works here, yeah?” Poe said, finally. “We look after people here, help them get better. I’ll never leave you behind.”

Finn swallowed. “Thank you.” 

Eventually, Finn’s back hurt too much to stay in his slumped pose. He sat up, stretching and grunting.

“You okay?” Poe asked. 

Finn nodded. “Sorry, and thank you.”

“There are plenty of us here who’ve been through something. We all look out for each other, and that includes you now. I meant it when I said my door was open.”

Finn nodded. “Think there’s any lunch left?”

“You can charm the cook if not, they definitely have a soft spot for you.”

Finn shook his head, grinning.

* * *

He could hear Phasma’s boots ringing on the metal floor. The strides were slow, deliberate, and Finn felt himself break out in a cold sweat. He was facing a climbing wall, but taller than he’d ever seen, and his amour felt heavy, unweilding. He had to climb it, but his arms would barely lift above his shoulders. He scrabbled at the wall as Phasma got closer. Phasma stopped behind him.

“FN-2187,” Phasma said, voice disapproving.

Finn was catapulted awake, blinking in the dark of his room. He sat up, rubbing his eyes until he could make out the features of the room, reassuring himself he was still in the Resistance base. 

Finn squeezed his eyes shut, and fumbled to switch on a light. He got up and went to the bathroom. He desperately wanted to talk to Poe, or Rey. He missed Rey so much it was an ache. But the General had told him where she’d gone, and why. He knew she’d be happy being on the mission, and Chewbacca would protect her. 

He finished up, washed his hands, and splashed water on his face. It was late. Poe would be asleep. He stopped on the threshold of the bathroom, looking at his empty bed. Suddenly he couldn’t stand to be there, alone, in the dark. He walked out of his room.

Finn realised it was probably a bad idea the second he knocked on Poe’s door. He stepped back to leave when the door opened, Poe blinking against the light of the corridor.

“Finn? What - is something wrong?”

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have disturbed you, you should go back to bed.” 

“You’re here now, you might as well come on in, I wasn’t asleep anyway.” Poe stepped back to let Finn in. Finn stepped into a small room, similar to his own; with a rumpled bed and BB8 in what Finn guessed was a charging dock. 

“I don’t even know what time it is,” Finn said. He was starting to feel ridiculous.

“Time for you to pull up some mattress, and tell me your woes.” Poe straightened the sheets on his bed, and sat down, propped up against the wall at the head of the bed. Finn sat next to him. The bed was narrow, and so Finn was barely on the bed, but Poe was warm next to him, and Finn felt himself flush.

“I had a nightmare.” Finn said, after a moment. He felt ridiculous indulging them like this, but he couldn’t bear to be alone - he spent so much time alone on this base, without orders-

“The Order?” Poe’s voice interrupted his runaway thoughts.

Finn nodded. “There are stories, of those who left. They were always caught.” He took a shaky breath. “Always brought back to the Order. We saw them brought back - they lined us up. Then we never saw them again.”

“Kriffing hell, no wonder your subconscious did a number on you,” Poe said.

Finn nodded. “I had to get out of my room, and I didn’t really know where else to go, I’m sorry to disturb you.”

Poe smiled. “My door is always open for you, Finn.”

“Thanks,” Finn replied.

The silence was warm, comfortable.

“So, you’re staying then? In the resistance?” Poe asked, finally. Finn jolted awake. He hadn’t meant to fall asleep, didn’t even realise it had happened til he woke up again.

“Hm?”

“The resistance, are you staying?” Poe asked quietly.

“Well, I’m not going back, and I’ll always be scared if I go.” Finn matched Poe’s quietness. Everything seemed fragile. This decision was one he had made but he hadn’t actually told anyone yet. He didn’t know what he was doing, or even if he was welcome here beyond the intelligence he could offer. 

“You could easily make a life for yourself in the Outer Rim.” 

Finn shrugged, jostling Poe slightly. 

“Maybe. But I’ll always be looking over my shoulder. Then Rey got taken, and I had to help her. You turned out to be alive, and you just helped. You’d met me once, and had never met Rey, and you just helped me.” Finn took a breath. “And when I got injured, I was brought back and healed. I’ve been here for weeks, and no one has asked anything of me. Even that is too much,” Finn added quietly. “Just being here is causing nightmares, out there? By myself? I’d never sleep again.”

Finn felt Poe’s fingers curl around his wrist.

“We’ll keep you safe, _I’ll_ keep you safe.”

“Thank you.” Finn whispered.

Another squeeze. “We should turn in, early morning tomorrow.”

Finn bit his lip. He didn’t want to go back to his room.

“Can I - stay here? I can sleep on the floor. I just - really can’t deal with being in a room by myself.” Finn didn’t look at Poe, didn’t want to see pity or -

“You sure? The floor’s metal, it’s going to be really uncomfortable.” Poe moved and stood up, looking at the bed. “Hmm, lie down for me?” 

Finn swallowed hard, but slid down on the bed until he was flat. He tried to take up as little room as possible. 

Poe tilted his head. “Yeah, I think we can make it work. Be snug, but I’ve slept in worse conditions,” he said, corner of his mouth lifting in a small smile. Poe turned off the light, and climbed back on the bed. 

They bumped elbows and knees. Poe’s breath was hot against his shoulder, and Finn had no idea where to put his hands. Eventually they settled into something approaching lying down in bed. Finn didn’t think he’d get any sleep with how much concentration he was putting into his posture.

“Relax, you’ll sleep better.” Poe rolled over, so he was facing away from Finn.

“Poe?” Finn said, suddenly remembering something. “What were you doing?”

“Huh?” Poe rolled back.

“When I came here, you said you weren’t asleep anyway,” Finn said.

“Oh. Well,” Poe looked uncomfortable. “Let’s just say you’re not the only one that has Order related nightmares.”

“Oh,” Finn said. “I’m sorry.”

“You saved me from them,” Poe said softly. “You have nothing to apologise for. Maybe we’ll be able to sleep tonight, now we’ve got company?”

Finn nodded. 

“Goodnight Poe.”

“Night, Finn’

* * *

The morning after was surprisingly easy. Finn didn’t know what to expect, but Poe treated it like it was nothing new. He turned off the alarm, and got out of bed.

“You sleep okay?” He asked as he walked into the small bath.

“Yes, thank you. Did you? I didn’t disturb you?”

“Not at all,” Poe replied.

They got ready for the day, occasionally getting in each other’s way, or tripping over BB8 who seemed more excited than normal that morning, but mostly fine. Finn liked spending time with Poe, and it seemed like Poe wanted to spend time with him. Finn had never got on with the other Stormtroopers - fraternisation was discouraged and on top of that Finn was ‘weird’, so it was nice to have someone like Poe. 

They walked to breakfast together, Finn feeling better than he had done in a long time. Poe introduced Finn to people as they walked to the mess, drawing him into conversation. 

They sat with Snap, Jess, and the other pilots for breakfast, laughing as they gently mocked each other and discussed the day. They all sympathised when he said he had a session with Dr Vlenims, Snap offering to try to get him out of them if needed.

“Do not take him up on that offer,” Jess warned. “He can’t lie for crap.”

Finn laughed as Snap and Jess got into a small slap fight. He caught Poe’s eye as he did. Poe was smiling at him, and Finn grinned back, nudging him gently. 

“Thank you,” he said again, lowly. All he ever did was thank Poe, it seemed.

“My pleasure,” Poe said, nudging Finn back. He didn’t move away though, and neither did Finn. He liked having Poe close, liked touching him. He didn’t notice the look Jess gave them.

* * *

Finn hated Dr Vlenims. 

That wasn’t true. 

The doctor was good at his job, and kind, but firm. What Finn really hated was how these sessions made him feel. It wasn’t endorphins, the high of exertion. It was hard and Finn felt like a failure after each session. He still wasn’t up to scratch, still ached every morning after a session. 

“You’re doing fine, Finn. You’ve already made improvements from last time.”

Finn nodded and took a drink. He had, he knew this. It was just not enough, not yet. He’d feel better when he was back to full strength.

“Listen, if you need to talk to someone, someone impartial, about what’s gone on since you saved Poe, we can do that - either with me or with the base psychiatrist.”

Finn shook his head. “I’m fine. I’m just being impatient.”

“Don’t be so hard on yourself,” Dr Vlenims said, patting his shoulder. “You’re doing better than a lot of the soldiers on this base, soon you’ll be running circles around them.”

Finn just shrugged. Dr Vlenims didn’t reply, just guided Finn through the rest of the exercises.

“How are you settling in, Finn?” Dr Vlenims asked. 

Finn nodded, “good, thank you. Poe is helping me; introducing me to people, eating with me.”

“Good, good,” Dr Vlenims said. “Are you finding any issues with people accepting you?”

Finn shrugged, “I get stares occasionally, but the pilots like me. No one has said or done anything.”

“The pilots are a good lot, you’d do worse than to fall in with them,” Dr Vlenims said, smiling.

* * *

The nightmares continued. 

Finn tried to tough them out, knowing he had to get through them, but on the third night, he dragged himself to Poe’s.

Poe took longer to open the door this time, and when he did he was bleary-eyed. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“S’fine,” Poe said. “Come in. Another nightmare?”

“I haven’t slept in 3 days, and I just - needed to come here,” Finn said, quietly. Poe’s presence was comforting in a way that very little else was, but he was aware how ridiculous it was.

“Of course, want to stay the night?”

“Please,” Finn said, gratefully. Poe gestured to the bed, and Finn climbed in. Poe climbed in next to him, warm against Finn.

“Thank you, Poe,” Finn whispered. 

“Anytime,” Poe replied, looking slightly more awake. 

“I’m betting that offer didn’t apply to your bed though,” Finn said, wryly.

“Finn, you saved my life, you completed the mission, you helped all of us. And even more than that, you’re a good person, and I like you. I want to help you, and if sleeping in a cramped bed helps you, then come sleep in a cramped bed. But right now, I’d like to sleep.”

Sure, sorry,” Finn said, cringing a little at how inconvenient he was being. “I feel safe here.”

Poe’s face softened. “You are safe here, we’ll keep you safe.”

“No, I mean, yes, I know that,” Finn said, “but I meant here, with you. You make me feel safe.”

“Finn,” Poe breathed. Finn swallowed but didn’t look away from Poe. His heart started to pound, causing his breath to become shaky in his chest and throat.

“Poe,” Finn said. “I - “

“Can I kiss you?”

Finn blinked. He’d never - he’d seen people do it, obviously, seen holo-vids and occasionally Stormtroopers (though it wasn’t allowed), but never actually done it himself.

“I’ve never-” he started. “But I’d like to. With you, I mean,” Finn clarified.

“Never?” Poe asked.

Finn shook his head.

“Okay,” Poe said. He cupped Finn’s jaw, and Finn gasped. It felt amazing, Poe’s touch. Poe was always touching people - Finn included, but this was different, and it felt different from Poe’s other touches. More deliberated. There was more weight there.

Poe leaned forward, pressing his lips to Finn’s. Finn followed Poe’s leave, sighing into the kiss.

“Is that okay?” Poe asked when they broke apart.

Finn nodded, then, body betraying him, he yawned. Poe laughed, pressing a kiss to his forehead.

“Sorry, sorry!” Finn said, mortified.

“You’ve not slept, right? So I won’t take it personally.” Poe shifted until his legs tangled with Finn’s. “Let’s get some sleep and reconvene on this in the morning, yeah?”

Finn nodded. Poe pressed another swift kiss to Finn’s mouth.

“Not helping,” Finn said.

Poe laughed softly.

* * *

Finn was far too hot. He woke up fighting with the blanket, sighing when the cool air hit him.

“Yeah, these beds aren’t made for two, unfortunately.” Finn rolled onto his side to look at Poe.

His hair was a mess, and his voice was croaky. Finn smiled and was reaching out across the bunched sheets to try to tame it before he could stop himself.

Poe’s eyes widened as Finn tried to detangle the curls. Poe closed his eyes and bit his lip.

“Finn,” he whispered. 

Memories of the night before flooded Finn’s mind and he took a deep breath.

“I think I’m making it worse,” Finn whispered back, smiling. Poe huffed a laugh and opened his eyes. 

Finn’s heart started to pound as he and Poe stared at each other. Finn had never - he had no idea what he was doing, he’d never touched someone as much as Poe - had never really wanted to. 

“I have no idea what I’m doing,” he admitted.

“What do you want to do?” Poe asked. He reached out to place a hand on Finn’s chest. Finn was sure Poe could feel his heart.

“I like having my hands on you,” Finn said.

“I like it, too,” Poe replied. “I’d like to kiss you again. Can I?”

Finn grinned, then moved forward. Poe cupped his face, pulling him in for a gentle kiss. When they broke apart Poe licked his bottom lip and Finn took that as a good sign. He leaned in again, and Poe sighed as they kissed. Poe’s hand slipped to Finn’s shoulder, squeezing gently. Finn put a hand on Poe’s chest tentatively. 

Poe made a noise into Finn’s mouth then pulled away. He frowned at the sheet between them and kicked it out of the way. Finn helped until there wasn’t a barrier between them. 

Finn looked at Poe, swallowing hard as he saw the bulge in his shorts. He wasn’t completely unaware - there was plenty of time they’d turn a blind eye to the pants and furtive movements when someone was getting themselves off. He’d just - never done it with anyone else. 

He wanted to with Poe, though.

“Finn,” Poe said. “I - are you sure?”

“I’m sure,” Finn said, kissing Poe again. Kissing was addictive; Finn wanted to do it forever. Poe hummed into the kiss, both hands on Finn now, slipping under his shirt. Finn gasped, pressing his forehead against Poe’s.

“Is this okay?”

Finn nodded. Poe was being tentative, Finn could see it in every line of his body. Finn wondered for one dizzying moment was Poe would be like without holding back, but he didn’t have a frame of reference. 

Poe moved his hands up Finn’s chest until Finn had to take his shirt off. Poe took his own off at the same time and then pushed Finn to lie back down, straddling his hips. 

“I’m going to keep asking you this: is this okay?”

Finn nodded. He held his hands in the air for a moment before placing them on Poe’s thighs. Poe tilted Finn’s head up, and then leaned down to kiss along his jaw. Poe kissing his neck caused him to shudder and cling onto Poe. 

Poe swore against his skin. “So good,” he murmured, before moving to kiss Finn lower, shoulder and chest. 

Finn was hard, harder than he’s ever been. He thrust his hips up as Poe moved over his body. Finn let out an embarrassing noise as his dick brushed againt Poe’s body. 

Poe grinned up at him and Finn’s mouth went dry. Poe arched his hips down and rubbed his own dick against Finn’s rough and dry through their shorts. 

“Ah,” Finn said, closing his eyes. “Poe, Poe.”

“Finn,” Poe sighed. “Finn, can I?” Poe tucked fingers into the waistband of Finn’s shorts. Finn bit his lip and nodded. Poe swore again, and Finn shivered.

Soon they were naked. 

Finn forced his eyes open. Poe’s hair was even more of a disaster, and he was grinning wildly down at him. Finn found himself grinning back. At least until Poe straddled his hips again, then Finn groaned and shuddered. 

Poe laughed quietly. “You’re gorgeous,” he said. “Can I touch you?”

“You already have,” Finn said, shakily. His skin was on fire, and he wanted more just as much as he wanted to drag this out forever.

“You know what I mean,” Poe said. “Have you ever?”

Finn shook his head. “I have, touched myself I mean, but never with someone else.” Poe’s hand was so close to his dick, it was all Finn could do to keep his hips still.

“Can I?”

“Please.”

The first touch of Poe’s hand was almost overwhelming. It was rough and calloused and firm and Finn bit his lip.

Poe stroked him firmly, and Finn’s eyes closed and he whimpered. 

“I’m-” was all he managed before he came, shaking. Poe gentled his hand, working him through it as Finn jerked and came.

“Finn,” Poe breathed, bending down for a kiss that was almost frantic. Finn responded as best he could, realising that Poe was stroking himself.

Finn pushed Poe back, wanting to see. Poe was pumping fast, and Finn could see liquid beading at the tip of his dick. He reached out a hand and rubbed the liquid away with his thumb.

“Finn,” Poe said, twisting his hand as he moved faster. Finn thumbed at the tip again, circling his thumb this time. Poe said some words, cut off so much that Finn couldn’t make them out - and came over Finn’s hand.

Poe moved to lie next to Finn, panting. He laughed and started Finn off. 

“That was great,” Poe said, leaning over the bed to pick up a discarded piece of clothing and wiping his hand on it.

“It was, it was incredible,” Finn said. He wiped himself down after Poe, then dropped the dirtied clothing to the floor.

Poe pulled Finn in for a kiss, slow and deep. Finn moaned into Poe’s mouth, hand curling through Poe’s hair.

They broke apart, still slightly breathless.

“We should get up before we go again.”

Finn sighed. “I suppose.”

“Duty calls.”

Poe stood up and walked to the bathroom. Finn watched him go, something warm and exciting running under his skin.

They left for breakfast together, after making a pact to keep it secret, just for now. Finn had no frame of reference for this, it was new and exciting and scary, but mostly exciting.

Poe dragged him into a supply cupboard in a corridor and kissed him breathless before he left Finn to go about his day. Finn blinked up at him and Poe laughed. 

“I’ll see you for evening meal?” Poe asked. Finn nodded, grinning.

“Okay, I’ll leave now, give it a minute before you leave, okay?”

“Okay.”

Finn waited, impatiently counting the time. Everything was new and exciting. Finn wished Rey was here, so he could share the news with her. They wouldn’t pass on communications - it was too risky - but he was sure she’d have some advice. 

Finn grinned to himself as he remembered that morning, and continued to count the time off.

* * *

Finn had a good session with Dr Vlenims - he was almost at where he was before his injury. His back wasn’t as strong as he’d like, but it was better. He finished the session full of endorphins for the first time.

Finn almost walked straight into the General when he left the gym.

“Sorry General,” Finn said, stopping short and standing to something approaching attention.

“At ease, Finn. I didn’t mean to scare you. I’d like a word, if you’re free?”

“Of course,” Finn said, a wave of hot nausea hitting him. This was it. The General was speaking to him, about his future, about his purpose here. He let out a breath. 

“Walk with me.”

The General walked down a corridor, and Finn walked alongside her, fighting his urge to be a few steps behind her, following. 

“Finn, how are you? How are your sessions with Dr. Vlenims going?”

“They’re going well. I have a long way to go, but I’m getting better.”

“I’m happy to hear that.” And she genuinely looked like she cared about him. 

“You wanted to see me, I assume, General?”

“I did, Finn. Now you’re back on your feet, I’d like to discuss your future here.” She stopped in front of a door, and opened it, waving Finn in ahead of her. The room was her office, which was sparsely decorated with a desk and a couple of chairs. “Please sit.”

Finn waited for the General to sit, then sat in a chair opposite her. The General smiled at him, moving a tablet out of the way so she could lean her arms on the desk.

“Assuming, of course, that you want to stay?” 

“I’d like to stay, if you’ve got space for me,” Finn replied. He was pretty sure the General could hear his heart pounding. 

“Oh, we’ve always got space for new recruits, Finn, especially ones as resourceful and useful as you.”

“Thank you, General,” Finn said. He thought he’d feel relief at this point, but instead he felt a different more complex form of nerves. The General continued and Finn forced himself to listen.

“I’m glad to hear you are joining us. Now, there are many facets of the resistance you could help out with, depending on your experience, health, competencies. We try to match people with jobs they want to do, but that’s not always possible. Not everyone can fly,” Leia said, with a wry smile. 

Finn nodded, faking a small smile. This is when he found out what he was to do in the resistance. He was almost happy the moment had arrived, he wouldn’t be worrying about it any more.

“Dr Vlenims is pleased with your progress, but you’re not back up to full fitness yet.” It wasn’t a question, so Finn didn’t reply, just sat, straight-backed, meeting the General’s eyes. “So I propose you do a couple of jobs.”

“General?” Finn asked. He had no idea what he could do; even sanitation required a degree of physicality that he wasn’t sure he had at the moment.

“While you recover, you can go over our intelligence, and fill in gaps, correct mistakes, give us any information you can. After that, when you’re recovered, we can revisit. If you want to go and fly or fight, we can see if there’s a space for you. If you’d rather be on the base full time, we can arrange something here, it’s upto you.”

Finn nodded. “I can do that.”

The General smiled. “Fantastic. We can go down to the intelligence section now, get you set up for access.”

“Thank you, General.”

“Finn? Can I ask - what was your job in the Order? I’m assuming you weren’t fighting full time.”

Finn dropped his head, and looked at his hands. “Sanitation,” he mumbled.

He didn’t see the General’s reaction, but he did hear her burst into laughter. He looked up, shocked, but she just her head, holding back more laughter, and Finn ended up joining in, relief pouring out of him.

“Sorry, sorry,” the General said when she calmed down. “It’s just - the Order’s greatest weapon, destroyed by a member sanitation staff and a scavenger.”

“Well, when you put it like that,” Finn replied.

* * *

Finn woke up, not sure what had woken him. He blinked and then realised the bed was shaking under him. Finn was confused until he rolled over and saw Poe holding himself so tight that he was shaking like he was cold. 

"Poe, Poe," Finn said. He reached out and touched Poe's arm, trying to get him to loosen his muscles. "Poe!" Finn said louder, and Poe opened his eyes, taking a huge breath.

"Poe," Finn said again, "I've got you."

Poe stared at Finn, panting.

"Come here," Finn said, and Poe almost flung himself into Finn's arms. Finn tucked Poe's head under his chin and held Poe until his breathing returned to normal.

"Sorry," Poe muttered. 

"Shush," Finn said, "it's alright." He'd thought they'd got over the nightmares, sleeping in the same bed being the cure. But they'd had their fair share, almost taking it in turns to comfort or be comforted. 

Poe's grip on Finn got lighter, until he pulled back, wiping a hand over his face. Finn kissed him gently.

"You need anything?" Finn asked.

Poe shook his head. "Just you."

"You've got me." Finn said.


End file.
